Sometimes, I can try and tell myself recovery wasnt worth it, that I am not comfortable with the way I look an that it was alot easier to deal with all of my problems when I was distracted by food and my disorder. But than I look at the smile I have on my face today. It says a million words on its own. This isnt just a smile forced by muscles in my cheeks, this is a natural smile of relief, self confidence and pure happiness. It reveals a sense of freedom and complete astonishment that I let myself let go of such a strong force that has controlled me for so long. I simply just can not believe that I am finally letting go of my eating disorder, it almost doesnt feel real. I never thought this would happen to me, there were so many times when I was sick that I just accepted that I would be disordered forever, and my parents were convinced as well. I simply do not know how I got here, but I can tell you every single step was worth it. I have just never felt like my life was so amazing before. I can finally cherish small moments, accept a true healthy body, and just let go of all the doubts, insecurities, and fears and just let myself live. If you are ever under any circumstance doubting that recovery is worth it, please look at the beautiful life around you and realize that recovering from your eating disorder opens so many doors and just feels so god damn good, there is no other way to explain it. Ladies, join me on this journey of life and laughter, its so much better than the isolation and depression I have put myself through for so long. Start a new day everyday, take a breath of fresh air, and let your lungs fill with fresh air and breath all the pain out and just start over. Breath freedom in, and  hopelessness out, there is a life outside these walls, you just have to believe in yourself <3

xoxo